coming clean

[corbray]

figured i'd post this here to just give myself motivation, whether or not anyone reads or posts i'm not overly fussed as its more for me if anything, its a case of just getting this off my chest and admitting that i am a drug addict.

i'm 25 and for the past 4 years i've smoked weed near daily, i have a great life, wonderful woman, earn good money in a job i enjoy and have a season ticket to the best club in the world but my drug problem has spiraled massively out of control. i smoke 40 quids worth of weed every week, give or take. at times i hate myself for putting myself in this position in the first place but i could never just stop myself from smoking that crap. every day the first thing i did upon getting in from work was roll a joint, i'd smoke 6 or 7 a night, one of the main reasons i enjoyed going to qpr was because i'd be away from all my weed and could just be clean, if only for a few hours.
it became such a problem that i started smoking a joint before i even went to work (i wasn't the driver don't worry) and constantly thought about smoking joints whilst at work, heck, i'd skip lunch breaks just so i could finish the job quicker, get home and smoke.

i recently came out to my family and fiance about my addiction which was emotional to say the least but they reacted better than i thought they would. they knew i smoked but didn't know the extent of how much i smoked and how regularly.

my dad helped fund my 2 week holiday just so i could get away from the environment and so it'd be an easier transition for me, its hard but i'm enjoying my holiday and haven't felt massive urges for a joint. i wanna get clean, sort myself out and move of from that part of my life and i will, i promise. no more smoking this crap, i'm done with that part, i threw away my weed, tools and blocked the numbers of my dealers. i'm turning over a new leaf (pardon the pun) and i'm gunna be completely clean, no more smoking that crap or any drugs from now on!!!

[WeAreQPR12]

I was waiting for a punchline. I've got mates that some it like you, 3 infact and all about your age apart from one who is 32. You do need to give it up as it effects motivation and although it relieves stress killing your motivation will do you more harm long term. Also my mates works his boll ocks off doing overtime just to pay for his habit. Think he does 250 a month. Good on you and my youngest mate 24 has quit for 6 months so it can be done with the right attitude

[WeAreQPR12]

Oh and its killed the eldest of having proper relationships. Lost some lovely girls because of it. I mean motivation for life

[Tarbie]

Don't beat yourself up too much pal. There are far worse things to be addicted to. And we all have our battles in life, regardless of what people may project publicly.

I have similar on and off battles with the booze if I'm totally honest.

[PunteR]

Well done mate. Any addiction is not a good thing. I think weed is very underestimated in terms of its effects on the brain and just how addictive it can be. I stopped smoking it 20 years ago. Mainly because of the effects it was having on me rather then trying to break addiction. I had mates who were obsessed with the stuff though.
Sounds like you've got a brilliant and supportive family so that in itself is a good enough incentive to break the cycle.
All the best with it.

[QPRDave]

You have a season ticket for Bristol Rovers?

[brightonr]

Well done for giving it up mate. You won't regret it. In fact, I'm pretty sure you'll come to see it as a hugely positive thing.

I'm quite possibly in the minority here, but I simply cannot for the life of me understand why youngsters these days take drugs on such a regular basis.

I'm just grateful that none of my own children or step children ever got involved in taking them. Not to my knowledge anyway. Got the grandchildren to be concerned about soon though. Regularly find myself having to help out youngsters that due to this stuff, put themselves in some very dangerous situations.

[WeAreQPR12]

I totally get why they use it as I have to admit I wouldn't want to be starting off from scratch in today's world. So much pressure of them to achieve in such a dog eat dog world. We have clever youngsters earning sh it money with their family scattered around the world where I work. They should exercise but the simple answer is cannabis and the dealers make sh it loads sitting on their #### ploughing it into them. Its certainly not a fair society we live in

[Stanley]

Good on you for sharing something so personal here Corbs. That would have taken courage and is also testament to this community that you feel safe enough here trusting us with it. If it helps as part of your rehab program to use this thread like a diary for updates in your progress then understand that we are here to offer you all the support, understanding and zero-judgement that you need. Wishing you all the best with it mate.

I've had life-long battles with addiction myself so I know all about its highly pervasive nature. It's ironic that one of the few things that has provided me with much therapeutic benefit to my situation is through the carefully controlled use of micro-dosing. I discovered this in the last few years having researched all the positive studies and clinical trials that have been done on the subject. One of the main obstacles to that is the amount of stigma, ignorance and ill-advised legislation on the matter, in the UK at least.

[Bluehoop]

Corbs, you have already done the hard part - admitting it to yourself. Sharing with others is a huge positive step also so congratulations to you.

Whilst there are obvious differences, giving up any addiction is a challenge. I conquered my 35 year, 40 a day habit back in the summer and it was the most liberating experience of my life.

Can I recommend a bit of reading for you? A book called The Easy Way by Alan Carr (no not that one) It focuses mainly on nicotine addition but addresses drugs of all types and the methods are amazingly effective.

Whatever you do, I wish you luck and Stanley's post above is an excellent idea

[Hitman34]

figured i'd post this here to just give myself motivation, whether or not anyone reads or posts i'm not overly fussed as its more for me if anything, its a case of just getting this off my chest and admitting that i am a drug addict.

i'm 25 and for the past 4 years i've smoked weed near daily, i have a great life, wonderful woman, earn good money in a job i enjoy and have a season ticket to the best club in the world but my drug problem has spiraled massively out of control. i smoke 40 quids worth of weed every week, give or take. at times i hate myself for putting myself in this position in the first place but i could never just stop myself from smoking that crap. every day the first thing i did upon getting in from work was roll a joint, i'd smoke 6 or 7 a night, one of the main reasons i enjoyed going to qpr was because i'd be away from all my weed and could just be clean, if only for a few hours.
it became such a problem that i started smoking a joint before i even went to work (i wasn't the driver don't worry) and constantly thought about smoking joints whilst at work, heck, i'd skip lunch breaks just so i could finish the job quicker, get home and smoke.

i recently came out to my family and fiance about my addiction which was emotional to say the least but they reacted better than i thought they would. they knew i smoked but didn't know the extent of how much i smoked and how regularly.

my dad helped fund my 2 week holiday just so i could get away from the environment and so it'd be an easier transition for me, its hard but i'm enjoying my holiday and haven't felt massive urges for a joint. i wanna get clean, sort myself out and move of from that part of my life and i will, i promise. no more smoking this crap, i'm done with that part, i threw away my weed, tools and blocked the numbers of my dealers. i'm turning over a new leaf (pardon the pun) and i'm gunna be completely clean, no more smoking that crap or any drugs from now on!!!

fairplay mate.

i know how you feel. done it myself from 16-23 years old.
always said that i would stop it when i stop enjoying it.

that wakeup moment came when i got to the stage of being so paranoid that the neighbours in the flat underneath could smell it, i decided to stick my head outside the window, or puffed and blew it up the extractor fan in the bathroom.

for me, that was the point where i said to myself, what the fark are you doing.

am now 41 and have never touched it since then.

welldone mate, your moment has arrived, seize it and dont look back.

Its not as adictive as you think corbs. you can do it buddy!

[WeAreQPR12]

All pretty believable until you said you were 41 lol you funny fu cker

[corbray]

cheers for all the messages guys, appreciate the lot of them and never knew that some of you have struggled in the past with addiction. thanks again for the support!

[Kevin Mcleod]

That stuff tends to give you up, not the other way around. Paranoia starts and it stops.

[Jimmy Floyd Rabbit]

First things first absolutely massive respect for admitting you have an issue. That's the biggest step.

It sounds like you've been very honest in your assessment, you've got a supportive family and partner. The fact you work also is a big positive. You don't want to be looking for jobs or attending interviews whilst in the midst of a smoking habit.

Just keep reminding yourself of all the positive things you have around you & the fact there really is no need to puff. Keep yourself busy with a run or a swim or even a nice walk with your Mrs. Out in the fresh air stretching the legs. Nothing better.

I think you're gonna be ok mate. Stick to what you're doing & if you get the urge just leave your phone at home so you can't call anyone and go for a walk somewhere. Keep going mate.