So the fat lady is on the stage but

[IsleworthRanger]

So the fat lady is on the stage but she has dropped the mike and the band has stopped playing

God its going to be tense on Sunday!

[Kirill]

She bends down trying to locate the microphone on the floor, but in vain as it is rather dark on the stage and she is too obese and this risque bending exercise inevitably results in her dress becoming torn on her backside. The ripping sound, well, rips through the ominous silence of the large auditorium. Humiliated and in tears, she rushes backstage and vows never to sing in public again. The public in strange hooped shirts claps hysterically.