the reason why british pubs are failing!!!!

[Factamondo]

last night at approx 10.30pm(and in midst of a fantastic piece of facto magic on a lovely bint form chiselhurst) i had to retire to the lavs for a guinness fuel injected 'number two's).....guinness drinkers will be familiar with this sudden urge to detonate a barrage of smoking black gunge.............anyhows back to my point and i offload the aforementioned and to my utter utter despair and horror there is 'no'.i repeat 'no' khazi paper...........in my sheer panic i decide to use a sock to wipe the clingons away( my fav christmas socks as well:angry rather than my kevin klines which the bint at the bar has already commented on and thus i dont wanna appear confident of getting a touch down by removing them even before we reach homebase........i return shhepish to the bar minus one sock which for fear of me blocking the loos i descetley placed in the cistern..the next flush therefore not secreting blue block but my number two's ala guinness!

[davman]

Facto, I can't leave you hanging on this story with no post in reply....

Top tip - check for paper, before dropping your load; being tanked on the black velvet is NO excuse - poor effort, lad...

Many years ago, in Bristol, I got lucky, did the deed and then had to walk home over Clifton Downs. The 15th pint of the night was obviously a 'bad' one and the turtle's head started knocking at my door, so I had to drop and go there and then. Funnily enough, no bog roll in the middle of the Downs, so it was a case of drop me trolleys and wipe with them. They were disposed of in someone's garden (nice treat for them in the morning) and then I carried on my merry way.

About an hour later, the turtle reared his head again and I had to duck into an alley for Round 2. I was only 5 mins away from home at this point and had nothing to wipe with, so just had to pull the jeans up and get home. On leaving the alley, I passed the milkman, said 'morning' and scampered off as he would have wondered what kind of dog could make such a mess...

Anyway, did that incident stop the facto magic from doing its business on Ms Chislehurst?

[Factamondo]

Facto, I can't leave you hanging on this story. Top tip - check for paper, before dropping your load; being tanked on the black velvet is NO excuse - poor effort, lad...

Many years ago, in Bristol, I got lucky, did the deed and then had to walk over Clifton Downs. The 15th pint of the night was obviously a 'bad' one and the turtle's head started knocking at my door, so I had to drp and go there and then. Funnily enough, no bog roll in the middle of the Downs, so it was a case of drop me trolleys and wipe with them. They were disposed of in someone's garden (nice treat for them in the morning) and then I carried on my merry way.

About an hour later, the turtle reared his head again and I had to duck into an alley for Round 2. I was only 5 mins away from home at this point and had nothing to wipe with, so just had to pull the jeans up and get home. On leaving the alley, I passed the milkman, said 'morning' and scampered ff as he would have wondered what kind of dog could make such a mess...

Anyway, did that incident stop the facto magic from doing the business on Ms Chislehurst?

............fraid so old bean she seemed to prefer some spotty uni type scrote with skinny jeans on............and both socks

[theblackmafia.]