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Neil Warnock was today exposed in yet another sting exclusive carried out by undercover reporters.
We can shockingly reveal that Warnock is actually working as a double agent and has been slowly working towards ensuring his current employers, the much troubled Queens Park Rangers Football Joke, are involved in yet another season of turmoil.
Our reporter, posing as an author of a ficticious book "The Ref's a ****", was told by Warnock "Thing is, the last fella doing their transfers was a waiter so this mob aven't got a clue chuck I'm telling thee! Eee tis greet the amount of money I can throw around!"
Warnock continued "Plan is to sign players from clubs that got relegated, strikers that are a danger to floodlights that sort of calibre. Then we give 'em big fat contracts, play 'em and ensure the club struggles. The mugs that watch games here wont have a clue as they've been more that satisfied watching blokes like Tamas Priskin try to find back of net."
When asked why he would contemplate doing such a thing the Manager continued "Ahhh, now you're asking. All part of me masterplan. With bit of luck I'll be sacked by November and can hot foot it back to Selhurst Park. My favourite football club in the world ever with the bestest, bestest truly wonderful fans in the world are there you know - yep, good old Crystal Meth Palace. Oooooooohhh"
The final worrying pieces of the jigsaw were being concluded by Warnock over the phone in our presence, he was insisting Patrick Angryman was returned to the club immediately while insisting that current team Captain, Mike Largerwood was kept away from passing practice. He was also heard to say on no account must the club sign any player who classed full back as their preferred position.
We await the start of the new season with interest.
Our case file has been passed to the Met Police and a Physco Analyst.
NB - The above is entirely ficticous and made up on the spot (like our transfer "policy".
C'mon U R's!!!!
We can shockingly reveal that Warnock is actually working as a double agent and has been slowly working towards ensuring his current employers, the much troubled Queens Park Rangers Football Joke, are involved in yet another season of turmoil.
Our reporter, posing as an author of a ficticious book "The Ref's a ****", was told by Warnock "Thing is, the last fella doing their transfers was a waiter so this mob aven't got a clue chuck I'm telling thee! Eee tis greet the amount of money I can throw around!"
Warnock continued "Plan is to sign players from clubs that got relegated, strikers that are a danger to floodlights that sort of calibre. Then we give 'em big fat contracts, play 'em and ensure the club struggles. The mugs that watch games here wont have a clue as they've been more that satisfied watching blokes like Tamas Priskin try to find back of net."
When asked why he would contemplate doing such a thing the Manager continued "Ahhh, now you're asking. All part of me masterplan. With bit of luck I'll be sacked by November and can hot foot it back to Selhurst Park. My favourite football club in the world ever with the bestest, bestest truly wonderful fans in the world are there you know - yep, good old Crystal Meth Palace. Oooooooohhh"
The final worrying pieces of the jigsaw were being concluded by Warnock over the phone in our presence, he was insisting Patrick Angryman was returned to the club immediately while insisting that current team Captain, Mike Largerwood was kept away from passing practice. He was also heard to say on no account must the club sign any player who classed full back as their preferred position.
We await the start of the new season with interest.
Our case file has been passed to the Met Police and a Physco Analyst.
NB - The above is entirely ficticous and made up on the spot (like our transfer "policy".
C'mon U R's!!!!
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