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  • RussRanger Stays... (Exclusive!)

    Today, Russranger ended minutes of speculation about his future by finally committing to stay on the WATRB Messageboards.

    The board has been in turmoil after the recent long term banning of some of their most high-profile contributors; the defection of Scott Jones - who moved a board - and the much publicised, admittedly by himself, departure of eghamhoop. But finally they have some good news.

    Ranger - a shameful self-publicist and former satirical columnist for various newspapers and magazines who's career has fallen so far he can see the Acme Anvil speedily hurtling towards it - said:

    "It was a huge decision and it took a lot of soul-searching. After all, this is a board that when I reached my 1000th post suddenly credited me back to 800 for some reason? Maybe they ran out of Gold Seat Icons? Over 100 more posts later I have received no explanation, no apology and no re-instating of my true posting figures. This is the 3rd time I've mentioned it on here, so I can only assume that no Moderator reads my posts or I am on their Ignore List?" Hint, hint.

    Ranger - not his real surname - who signed up last year with the board also said: "I know my posts are often self-deprecating or inane, that I tend to slip under people's radar and that I won't win any popularity contests on here."

    A fact borne out in every poll where he has NEVER received a mention from anyone AT ALL!:rage::angry:"But I'm really not that bothered."

    "I enjoy posting and contributing to the board," he said in a lying sort of way.

    Arguably his biggest contribution was when he accidentally re-named the much lauded POTY (Play Offs This Year) Club to the PONY (Play Offs Next Year) Club - a post for which he recived 3icons. "It means a lot as it was my first (and to date, only) hat-trick."

    One poster, who wished not to be named, said: "I... I mean "he" is a very under-rated poster with a great wit and if there were more posters like me... I mean "him" this board would be a much better and happier place. He has never insulted or launched a personal attack on anyone on here and has no Infraction Points to his... I mean "my" Oh no, "his" name... Yet!"

    When asked for a response to the news of Russ's (actually, that's not his real Christian name either!) decision to stay, a top Moderator said, "Russ Who?"

    Another said: ""That F@*#ing W@#*er?"

    And a third chipped in with: "I was hoping they'd all leave. Maybe I should ban them all so as I can close down this site? Maybe now he's staying they'll all leave anyway? All I ever get is "Paladini said this", "Paladini said that..." Yadda, yadda, yadda. Right, I'm off to the pub... Where's Gianni's number?"

    When asked about his future plans,"Talented" - his words not mine - "Schizoid" - my words not his - Russ said: "Some say, "You never know what's around the corner" - In my case, I do... It's a Superdrug. I know because I shop there and the girl on the counter seems to have a strange addiction to headache tablets. Every time I see her she's knocking them back. Perk of the job, I suppose?"

    It could be a long summer.

  • #2
    FFS.
    QBP 20th August 2009..."To be fair, I'm glad we are top of the table (for agents fees). Shows we are not a selling club anymore."

    Comment


    • #3
      scott was put on gardening leave :p
      Soldier: "im on reconnaissance sir.. im looking for our camouflage expert.. have you seen him?"
      Lovejoy: "No?!"
      Soldier: "GOD DAMNIT THAT GUYS GOOD!"

      Please Follow My Twitter

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Captain Clunge View Post
        FFS.
        Chill.

        At what point did you read the words "The Times - Factual Report"?

        IT's a WIND UP based on all the daft "I'm Leaving, I'm Staying" threads. The clues are there. On almost every line. And that's ALL it is.

        Hope that helps.

        Comment


        • #5
          quite funny in a quirky kind of way!!
          PRIDE OF LONDON.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by RussRanger View Post
            Chill.

            At what point did you read the words "The Times - Factual Report"?

            IT's a WIND UP based on all the daft "I'm Leaving, I'm Staying" threads. The clues are there. On almost every line. And that's ALL it is.

            Hope that helps.
            Thanks for spelling it out for me Sherlock, I'd have been struggling with this all day otherwise.

            Its actually a great relief you are staying. Wit like yours would be sadly missed.
            QBP 20th August 2009..."To be fair, I'm glad we are top of the table (for agents fees). Shows we are not a selling club anymore."

            Comment


            • #7
              I enjoyed it Russ - made me chuckle when I read it - but then it got ambushed and I got bored -------again
              #standuptocancer
              #inyourfacecancer

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by RussRanger View Post
                Today, Russranger ended minutes of speculation about his future by finally committing to stay on the WATRB Messageboards.

                The board has been in turmoil after the recent long term banning of some of their most high-profile contributors; the defection of Scott Jones - who moved a board - and the much publicised, admittedly by himself, departure of eghamhoop. But finally they have some good news.

                Ranger - a shameful self-publicist and former satirical columnist for various newspapers and magazines who's career has fallen so far he can see the Acme Anvil speedily hurtling towards it - said:

                "It was a huge decision and it took a lot of soul-searching. After all, this is a board that when I reached my 1000th post suddenly credited me back to 800 for some reason? Maybe they ran out of Gold Seat Icons? Over 100 more posts later I have received no explanation, no apology and no re-instating of my true posting figures. This is the 3rd time I've mentioned it on here, so I can only assume that no Moderator reads my posts or I am on their Ignore List?" Hint, hint.

                Ranger - not his real surname - who signed up last year with the board also said: "I know my posts are often self-deprecating or inane, that I tend to slip under people's radar and that I won't win any popularity contests on here."

                A fact born out in every poll where he has NEVER received a mention from anyone AT ALL!:rage::angry:"But I'm really not that bothered."

                "I enjoy posting and contributing to the board," he said in a lying sort of way.

                Arguably his biggest contribution was when he accidentally re-named the much lauded POTY (Play Offs This Year) Club to the PONY (Play Offs Next Year) Club - a post for which he recived 3icons. "It means a lot as it was my first (and to date, only) hat-trick."

                One poster, who wished not to be named, said: "I... I mean "he" is a very under-rated poster with a great wit and if there were more posters like me... I mean "him" this board would be a much better and happier place. He has never insulted or launched a personal attack on anyone on here and has no Infraction Points to his... I mean "my" Oh no, "his" name... Yet!"

                When asked for a response to the news of Russ's (actually, that's not his real Christian name either!) decision to stay, a top Moderator said, "Russ Who?"

                Another said: ""That F@*#ing W@#*er?"

                And a third chipped in with: "I was hoping they'd all leave. Maybe I should ban them all so as I can close down this site? Maybe now he's staying they'll all leave anyway? All I ever get is "Paladini said this", "Paladini said that..." Yadda, yadda, yadda. Right, I'm off to the pub... Where's Gianni's number?"

                When asked about his future plans,"Talented" - his words not mine - "Schizoid" - my words not his - Russ said: "Some say, "You never know what's around the corner" - In my case, I do... It's a Superdrug. I know because I shop there and the girl on the counter seems to have a strange addiction to headache tablets. Every time I see her she's knocking them back. Perk of the job, I suppose?"

                It could be a long summer.
                I know how you feel.I too never get mentioned in any polls.I often feel i have never reached that pinnacle in life where i'm recognised for my witty and informative rants.

                My name is also not Spencer and i don;t look like Charlotte Church.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Very good Russ.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    i liked it lol
                    "birch said he rated u btw luke, congrats"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Anyone wishing to buy Captain Clunge, he of course is available on a FREE
                      ALL BEST BANTER AND ALL THE LATEST FROM QPR.
                      THE WEST LONDON 90 MINUTE FOOTBALL SHOW EVERY MONDAY FROM 9.30PM http://mixlr.com/the90mfs/

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thumbs up Russ!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Very funny
                          One for all.... and all for one

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by RussRanger View Post
                            Today, Russranger ended minutes of speculation about his future by finally committing to stay on the WATRB Messageboards.

                            The board has been in turmoil after the recent long term banning of some of their most high-profile contributors; the defection of Scott Jones - who moved a board - and the much publicised, admittedly by himself, departure of eghamhoop. But finally they have some good news.

                            Ranger - a shameful self-publicist and former satirical columnist for various newspapers and magazines who's career has fallen so far he can see the Acme Anvil speedily hurtling towards it - said:

                            "It was a huge decision and it took a lot of soul-searching. After all, this is a board that when I reached my 1000th post suddenly credited me back to 800 for some reason? Maybe they ran out of Gold Seat Icons? Over 100 more posts later I have received no explanation, no apology and no re-instating of my true posting figures. This is the 3rd time I've mentioned it on here, so I can only assume that no Moderator reads my posts or I am on their Ignore List?" Hint, hint.

                            Ranger - not his real surname - who signed up last year with the board also said: "I know my posts are often self-deprecating or inane, that I tend to slip under people's radar and that I won't win any popularity contests on here."

                            A fact borne out in every poll where he has NEVER received a mention from anyone AT ALL!:rage::angry:"But I'm really not that bothered."

                            "I enjoy posting and contributing to the board," he said in a lying sort of way.

                            Arguably his biggest contribution was when he accidentally re-named the much lauded POTY (Play Offs This Year) Club to the PONY (Play Offs Next Year) Club - a post for which he recived 3icons. "It means a lot as it was my first (and to date, only) hat-trick."

                            One poster, who wished not to be named, said: "I... I mean "he" is a very under-rated poster with a great wit and if there were more posters like me... I mean "him" this board would be a much better and happier place. He has never insulted or launched a personal attack on anyone on here and has no Infraction Points to his... I mean "my" Oh no, "his" name... Yet!"

                            When asked for a response to the news of Russ's (actually, that's not his real Christian name either!) decision to stay, a top Moderator said, "Russ Who?"

                            Another said: ""That F@*#ing W@#*er?"

                            And a third chipped in with: "I was hoping they'd all leave. Maybe I should ban them all so as I can close down this site? Maybe now he's staying they'll all leave anyway? All I ever get is "Paladini said this", "Paladini said that..." Yadda, yadda, yadda. Right, I'm off to the pub... Where's Gianni's number?"

                            When asked about his future plans,"Talented" - his words not mine - "Schizoid" - my words not his - Russ said: "Some say, "You never know what's around the corner" - In my case, I do... It's a Superdrug. I know because I shop there and the girl on the counter seems to have a strange addiction to headache tablets. Every time I see her she's knocking them back. Perk of the job, I suppose?"

                            It could be a long summer.
                            Who are ya who are ya?
                            I blew a lot on vodka and tonic, gambling and fags. Looking back, I think I overdid it on the tonic. - The one and only Stanley Bowles

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              personally thought it was funny.......seems some need a humour transplant.

                              Comment

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