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Today, Russranger ended minutes of speculation about his future by finally committing to stay on the WATRB Messageboards.
The board has been in turmoil after the recent long term banning of some of their most high-profile contributors; the defection of Scott Jones - who moved a board - and the much publicised, admittedly by himself, departure of eghamhoop. But finally they have some good news.
Ranger - a shameful self-publicist and former satirical columnist for various newspapers and magazines who's career has fallen so far he can see the Acme Anvil speedily hurtling towards it - said:
"It was a huge decision and it took a lot of soul-searching. After all, this is a board that when I reached my 1000th post suddenly credited me back to 800 for some reason? Maybe they ran out of Gold Seat Icons? Over 100 more posts later I have received no explanation, no apology and no re-instating of my true posting figures. This is the 3rd time I've mentioned it on here, so I can only assume that no Moderator reads my posts or I am on their Ignore List?" Hint, hint.
Ranger - not his real surname - who signed up last year with the board also said: "I know my posts are often self-deprecating or inane, that I tend to slip under people's radar and that I won't win any popularity contests on here."
A fact borne out in every poll where he has NEVER received a mention from anyone AT ALL!:rage::angry:"But I'm really not that bothered."
"I enjoy posting and contributing to the board," he said in a lying sort of way.
Arguably his biggest contribution was when he accidentally re-named the much lauded POTY (Play Offs This Year) Club to the PONY (Play Offs Next Year) Club - a post for which he recived 3
icons. "It means a lot as it was my first (and to date, only) hat-trick."
One poster, who wished not to be named, said: "I... I mean "he" is a very under-rated poster with a great wit and if there were more posters like me... I mean "him" this board would be a much better and happier place. He has never insulted or launched a personal attack on anyone on here and has no Infraction Points to his... I mean "my"
Oh no, "his" name... Yet!"
When asked for a response to the news of Russ's (actually, that's not his real Christian name either!) decision to stay, a top Moderator said, "Russ Who?"
Another said: ""That F@*#ing W@#*er?"
And a third chipped in with: "I was hoping they'd all leave. Maybe I should ban them all so as I can close down this site? Maybe now he's staying they'll all leave anyway? All I ever get is "Paladini said this", "Paladini said that..." Yadda, yadda, yadda. Right, I'm off to the pub... Where's Gianni's number?"
When asked about his future plans,"Talented" - his words not mine - "Schizoid" - my words not his - Russ said: "Some say, "You never know what's around the corner" - In my case, I do... It's a Superdrug. I know because I shop there and the girl on the counter seems to have a strange addiction to headache tablets. Every time I see her she's knocking them back. Perk of the job, I suppose?"
It could be a long summer.
The board has been in turmoil after the recent long term banning of some of their most high-profile contributors; the defection of Scott Jones - who moved a board - and the much publicised, admittedly by himself, departure of eghamhoop. But finally they have some good news.
Ranger - a shameful self-publicist and former satirical columnist for various newspapers and magazines who's career has fallen so far he can see the Acme Anvil speedily hurtling towards it - said:
"It was a huge decision and it took a lot of soul-searching. After all, this is a board that when I reached my 1000th post suddenly credited me back to 800 for some reason? Maybe they ran out of Gold Seat Icons? Over 100 more posts later I have received no explanation, no apology and no re-instating of my true posting figures. This is the 3rd time I've mentioned it on here, so I can only assume that no Moderator reads my posts or I am on their Ignore List?" Hint, hint.
Ranger - not his real surname - who signed up last year with the board also said: "I know my posts are often self-deprecating or inane, that I tend to slip under people's radar and that I won't win any popularity contests on here."
A fact borne out in every poll where he has NEVER received a mention from anyone AT ALL!:rage::angry:"But I'm really not that bothered."
"I enjoy posting and contributing to the board," he said in a lying sort of way.
Arguably his biggest contribution was when he accidentally re-named the much lauded POTY (Play Offs This Year) Club to the PONY (Play Offs Next Year) Club - a post for which he recived 3
icons. "It means a lot as it was my first (and to date, only) hat-trick."One poster, who wished not to be named, said: "I... I mean "he" is a very under-rated poster with a great wit and if there were more posters like me... I mean "him" this board would be a much better and happier place. He has never insulted or launched a personal attack on anyone on here and has no Infraction Points to his... I mean "my"
Oh no, "his" name... Yet!"When asked for a response to the news of Russ's (actually, that's not his real Christian name either!) decision to stay, a top Moderator said, "Russ Who?"
Another said: ""That F@*#ing W@#*er?"
And a third chipped in with: "I was hoping they'd all leave. Maybe I should ban them all so as I can close down this site? Maybe now he's staying they'll all leave anyway? All I ever get is "Paladini said this", "Paladini said that..." Yadda, yadda, yadda. Right, I'm off to the pub... Where's Gianni's number?"
When asked about his future plans,"Talented" - his words not mine - "Schizoid" - my words not his - Russ said: "Some say, "You never know what's around the corner" - In my case, I do... It's a Superdrug. I know because I shop there and the girl on the counter seems to have a strange addiction to headache tablets. Every time I see her she's knocking them back. Perk of the job, I suppose?"
It could be a long summer.
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